First of all, most creatives often require time alone or time with ways they regenerate and refuel to stay productive. For those who reenergize alone, your anxious attachment partner may read the wrong meaning to your wanting to be away or wanting to be alone.
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Anxious attachment partners are typically characterized as people who always want to be around their partners. Nigerians call them ‘ lemo’ glued to their partner. Depending on their ‘lemology’ , an avoidant creative may soon begin to find it suffocating especially when there’s not much breathing space for him or her to recharge and refuel.
If you’re creative marry a partner with an anxious attachment style. Two things are involved. One person will Anxiously go after one and the other one will be avoidant when they are triggered.
You need to discuss your alone time because it will be perceived wrongly as insecurity when the avoidant creative feel you’re always needing them when they need their time alone and it can make your partner more anxious. Then a destructive circle is perpetuated.
It’s important for intending couples to know their attachment styles and discuss the ways to handle the pitfalls of each avoidant style. In my premarital counseling course (link in my bio), we have a test for all our couples to know their attachment style.
A disclaimer here:
Different things play out in love relationships. Having the right knowledge gives you the wisdom and understanding to handle them. Don’t self-medicate. Talk to a professional. You can book a session with me to understand these things better.
But also be sure that it’s the combination of your attachment that’s playing out, especially with regards to your success.
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