Help I’m a new mom
Day 1: Dear new mom
Psalms 68:19 , 1Peter 5:7
It’s exciting to finally hold your precious gift in your hands. You’re also in awe of the tiny human that is now being welcomed to your home. This new joy and thrill may sometimes be threatened by the new and fresh challenges you face. From the fact that you just went through some excruciating pain, your body tries to heal and recover, you are now responsible for the welfare and life of another human being. In the midst of this, there’s often a demand to be a wife, a sister, a daughter, a friend, a colleague, a CEO or business owner, etc . While some people have mastered the art of setting boundaries , some women have not. Without warning, this new phase can suddenly become overwhelming.
Dear new mom, you need to know that God sees and even feels your overwhelm. Psalm 68:19 (NIV) tells us that God bears our burden daily. In fact the Bible outrightly tells us to “cast our cares upon the Lord”. This means you can pour out that overwhelm to God in prayer. Your husband may never be able to fully comprehend what you feel and what you are going through. This is not often because he doesn’t want to understand you, he may just not know how to do so. However, God understands you and can totally relate with you. It will be a waste not to pray and tell God about every bit of detail your mind can comprehend. Everytime you pray about it, you are not just doing a spiritual activity, in psychology , you are giving an outlet to your distress. It’s like a person who is pressed to use the rest room and finally gets to use the rest room. That kind of relief is what you experience when you take your overwhelm to God in prayer.
Confession: God loves me. I am beautiful. I am a fruitful vine. I am a happy mother. I enjoy help when, where and to the extent that I need it. The Lord is my ever present help. I will call on the Lord and He will answer me.
Day 2: You can be free from postpartum depression
Isaiah 12:3, Phillipians 4:8
One of the most frightening information you’d find online about your new season as a new mum is postpartum depression. It seems like 8 out of 10 new moms experience it. However, postpartum depression statistics show that 1 in 8 women experience it. You can be one amongst the 7! You may be wondering” how”. Well the Bible tells us that with joy you shall draw from the wells of salvation. Joy is a fruit of the HolySpirit. Fruits are cultivated. Cultivation requires intentionality. Being intentional is a choice. It would be difficult in the flesh but you can choose joy.
You can choose joy by deciding your focus. Every time your mind is swaying toward the challenges you are facing, you can bring to your own mind the joys of motherhood intentionally. Let the things you enjoy about you and your baby constantly be your thoughts.
Philippians 4:8 (NIV) gives us the standard of what we should allow our thoughts to dwell on. As a new mom, you can use that scripture as a litmus test to know if a thought is worth dwelling on or if the thought should be discarded. If it fails the Philippians 4:8 (NIV) test, be quick to discard it. This is the way to intentionally cultivate your mind to be fruitful, fruitful with joy. This is the way to weed out thoughts that fuel anxiety and nurture depression.
You can be the master of your emotions. Anything that controls you is your master. The hormonal changes and imbalances in the body of a new mom is very true and real but don’t let it become your master. You can gain mastery over your emotions. As you pray, ask the HolySpirit for wisdom. As you study the scriptures, trust God to lead you to what you need daily. Remember that the HolySpirit is more than willing to teach you. You just need to open your heart to receive His teachings through God’s word.
Confession: I am a happy mum. I love my body. I love my baby. I am taught of the Lord and great shall be my peace.
Day 3.
Letters to a new mum.
Yeah, I know you’re probably experiencing sleepless nights now. For some women, your spouse may come across as unsupportive especially if he is genuinely ignorant. I can’t tell you that it’s an easy journey because I have been there. There is one thing I can tell you though, it is a beautiful journey despite the unique challenges that comes with it.
Look at you! You literally just went through the process of bringing another human to life, the the earth. It’s a wonder to hold that precious small sized human that will grow to become an adult some day. Remember that your baby will not always be a baby. This season you have with them is timed and it is so short compared to the other years of their lives. In no time your baby will become a toddler, a child, a teenager and then an adult. Time flies. I know it currently look like the days are slow, but as a mother who has been in your shoes, I can tell you for free that your time with your child as a baby is really fleeting. And the interesting thing is that you’d miss it.
So while you may genuinely have experiences that may naturally stress you out, make sure you naturally enjoy what can bring you joy about your baby. That child won’t always be a baby. Once their time as a baby is over, it’s never coming back. So try all you can to enjoy this only season of their lives. Enjoy your baby. There is beauty in his season. Sing over your child. Take pictures. Cuddle your child with love. Be very intentional about it and save as many memories as you can because you’d long for it some day. If you ask older women about this, the ones who are truthful will confirm this to you.
You can keep a journal like I do too. When they are older, you can share it with them. You can save photos and videos of them by monthly based on a drive or on a cloud account. These things will keep those memories timeless and always accessible.
As I will always say, rest in God. Take comfort in God. Also teach the people around you on how you want to be loved. Educate them about it. Send them links, videos and resources that explains what you need. An example is the devotional for men. It can help your spouse come to terms with better ways to be most supportive in this season.
Lots of love,
Joan Anuoluwa.
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